Restoration Faith Centre

I am come that they might have life, and that they might

have it more abundantly. John 10:10 KVJ

 

Fiona

Over the Rainbow: A God searchers Quest.  

The opening words of ‘Over the Rainbow’ sung by Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz are an appropriate description of my quest to find God. “Somewhere over the rainbow way up high, there’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby”.

In my heart I believed in God right from childhood, looking back I think I had a pre-birth memory of God my Father and it’s been my life’s passion to find Him on earth. I have found Him after 55 years of searching and now I am learning to love and obey Him from the distance of earth and hampered by an earthly body.  

I was brought up in a nominally Christian home, Mum and Dad at church Easter and Christmas. I was sent to Sunday school which I liked, church itself bored me and I knew instinctively that God was not there. When I started school I went to a Presbyterian School, so from a 3 year old I was aware of denominations as I was an Anglican. When I got to Bible class I had an unquenchable thirst for the knowledge so I was top of the class at prize-giving. This state of affairs changed when I was 17 and confirmation loomed.

It was the biggest non-event of my life to that point and I gradually fell away from church attendance at the same time as Mum and Dad did. We finished up only going to weddings and funerals.  

By this time it was the late 60’s, I knew God was not in the Anglican or Presbyterian churches for me. I still had this faint memory in my spirit of God and I was desperate to have my relationship back. So in my early 20’s the quest began. The Beatles came back from the Maharishi and I thought that’s it, that’s where God is, so I read up on Hinduism (He wasn’t there). I next went to Buddhism (not there),Taoism (not there), Islam (not there), Suffism (not there).  

Each book I read I never got past the first chapter. Flower power became New Age and I spent 20 years wandering through the different topics. I was attracted to Wicca because of my love of nature, particularly plants and trees.

These were my wilderness years.  

Then I went to the psychology of Freud. This became a transfer to the writing of a Catholic priest called Father John Powell and this was my way in to Catholicism. This brought a problem. Mum and Dad were anti-Catholic in a fanatical way. So I skilfully mixed them with my secular books (Mum hated books and Dad loved them, so he was a worry). The bulk of my Catholic books stayed at work, I ended up more knowledgeable than my Catholic workmates. I was absorbing everything I could lay my hands on. This was the foundation for my first contact with God.  

One day at lunch time I walked into the Catholic Cathedral and as I walked inside I felt an invisible arm go round my shoulder and a voice said “Welcome Home”. I felt I had come home. Within a year I had been received privately into the Catholic Cathedral. I went to lunch-time masses Monday to Friday and finished up being a Eucharistic Minister. For the next 5 years I was a closet Catholic. Until Mum died in 1996, then I became involved in a local parish. Dad was in a home so I was basically a free agent. I was happy as I thought I’d found God and would be a Catholic for the rest of my life. I was to discover that church comfort zones, are not approved of by God. This time in the Catholic Church was only a training ground I discovered.

After I was made redundant in July 1997 (Dad died in May) an old workmate came into my life and turned it upside down. He introduced me to a Pentecostal church – what a contrast! I’d never experienced anything like it. On my first visit I was standing between my friend and his mother in the middle of the road. Out of the corner of my eye to my right people had their hands in the air and them I saw the same on my left. I thought no way am I going to wave my arm in the air as if I was drying nail polish! This church was a culture shock. I left it for two months and then came back. By this time I was going to three different churches. I gradually eliminated attending one of these, attending the Catholic and Pentecostal churches.  

Finally I left the Catholic Church, my time there was over, once more God had taken me out of my comfort zone. I had 6 years at the Pentecostal church; once more I got involved in church life as a helper at the Alpha Course, part of Sunday management team, door greeter and info counter. I discovered at Alpha (I did 6 consecutive courses as a helper) that my small group always contained a cradle catholic who had left the church and was now finding their way back to God. With each group I had a 100% success rate with them being baptised at the end of the course. I was a bridge between the non-Catholic and the ex-Catholics, as I discovered to understand where they came from you had to understand being inside the church. I knew that was why God had put me inside the Catholic Church as a learning experience.

 Once again I thought I was here for good this time. But no, God’s plans for me didn’t include a permanent residence at that particular church. In 2002 I was introduced to RFC but because I was still at my regular church, I only attended mid-week and my friend went to Sunday services. This state of affairs continued for 2002 from August to December. In January I was on the move again, for the first time I had a choice from God to leave my current church and join RFC or stay where I was. I feel from the catholic days I was going from one level to a higher level. Once I learnt whatever I was meant to learn I was moved up a level.

 I feel like RFC is my home now. I am constantly growing. In less than a year I’ve changed beyond recognition. RFC has lived up to its name, I have been restored to God my Father and I have faith that gets deeper every day and it’s the centre of my life. The world now has no appeal to me. I just have an insatiable hunger for more and more of my Dad/God who loves me.  

My quest is over and it’s been successful. I have found my Dad, my Lord, my Saviour, my Brother, my Friend and my Lover. I am a princess, a daughter of the Most High God and in the ups and downs of the world I am also on of His humble servants, who He says are also a priestly class.